hell yes lets make some ravioli
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
