It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
