The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
