hotel room ftw
if i died would you start the facebook group?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
