I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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