Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
