what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
