We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
