Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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