Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
