hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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