She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
home. puking in laundry basket.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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