They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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