Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
