Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
