first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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