Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
As shirtless as possible
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
