At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
