all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
