I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
