They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Houston, we have a blender
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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