She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
