Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
