ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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