I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Come share oat with me in your robe
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
