Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
