Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
