It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
