My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
