I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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