idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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