you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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