I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
