I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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