Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
