it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
