you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
