i may or may not be watching the land before time
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
