We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
