Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
