that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
