She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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