I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
