sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Sorry about my life...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
