You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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