hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
