I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
false alarm. still invincible.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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