Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Let's paint friendship bongs
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
