tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
