In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
