someone get that fucking seahorse.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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