Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
