omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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