How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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