no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
