I want you more than these girls want KFC
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
