It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
