Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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