I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
