so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
