If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
