I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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