so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
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