Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
